Domestic Violence Education at Bay De Noc College West Campus

A group of nursing students from Bay De Noc West has been doing a class project about domestic violence.  They are collecting donations for Caring House, they have given a presentation at the college along with advocate Marti Swisher, and they put together a short video about domestic violence.   This wonderful group of students has done a great job and we are very excited to have partnered with them.

If you would like to view the video it has been published on the Caring House Facebook page.

CELEBRITY WAITERS SPAGHETTI DINNER 10/30/14

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That’s right…it’s that time again.  It’s time to eat great food, laugh until your stomach hurts, and win some awesome prizes.

Silent auction, 50/50 drawings, raffle prizes and door prizes

This year’s event will be held Thursday October 30, 2014

At the First Presbyterian Church in Kingsford

5PM to 8PM

$6 Each/ Children 5 & Under FREE!

Please join us for this annual event.  You won’t be sorry.  Our attendees love it and come back year after year.

On a serious note, by attending, you help to bring awareness to this tragedy in our community.

STOP THE SILENCE —10/14/2014

Have you taken a ride past the First Covenant Church on H Street in Iron Mountain, MI?  Each cross you see displayed out in front represents one person from the Upper Peninsula who was killed in a Domestic Violence situation.  Who will the next cross represent?  Will it be your sister or brother?  Your neighbor?  A favorite teacher at the school?  Your doctor’s wife?  It could be anyone!  You can’t tell if someone is a victim by looking at them.  They look like me or you.  Wounds aren’t always visible.  Victims are very, very good at pretending everything is ok.

Are you aware of the Domestic Violence in this world?  Do you care?  Every football fan in the United States should know…watch the video of Ray Rice hitting his wife.  Listen to sports personnel talk about how hundreds of cases of Domestic Violence have been covered up.  We all think that good old guy we know couldn’t do such a thing,  why he’s a great guy and fun to be around  (unless he comes home to you each night).  Each and every one of us should be more aware.  Abusers get away with it because they can.  Nobody wants to get involved.  If you see something or hear something that you think may be abuse call the police, that’s the only way this will end.  Don’t keep SILENT!!!  We need everyone to make abusers accountable for their actions.

One way you can help is to come out to our annual  “Break the Silence, Stop the Violence” procession, if you are able.  We will meet at The Dickinson County Sheriff’s Department between noon & 12:15 on Tuesday October 14th.  This year we will be joined by the MI Bikers Helping Veterans Motorcycle group, followed by area law enforcement with sirens blaring, followed by cars honking their horns.  If you can drive or ride in a car and honk a horn you can join us.  The procession will proceed to Caring House where refreshments will be served.  We need YOU!!

Let’s make some changes and shake up this county, so we can shake up this state, so we can shake up our country and shake up the world.  Let’s make this world a safer place.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH 2012

As you may know, Domestic Violence is a serious issue.  It’s complicated because it involves families and their personal lives, lives many of us think are “their business”.  Unfortunately, their business affects most of us in some way.  That child who is bullying your child may be watching their mother get beaten by their father.  I guarantee your children are going to school with children who live daily with the fear that their parent, usually a mother, is going to be hurt or killed.  Many of those children are themselves being abused.  The sweet woman who clerks at your favorite grocery store may be afraid to go home, she may have someone checking up on her at all times to make sure she’s where she is supposed to be, or she may not be there tomorrow because she’s dead.

We may think of domestic violence victims as “one of those people”.  Maybe we categorize them as drug addicts, alcoholics, welfare recipients, etc.  Guess what, a victim could also be your next door neighbor, your sister, the doctor’s wife or your favorite librarian.  You can’t tell a victim by looking at them much of the time.  Yes, they may have bruises.  Then again, you may not be able to see those bruises.  They may be hidden by clothing.  They may be hidden in their hearts.

Possibly you are thinking that they should just leave.  That too is complicated.  There are dozens of reasons domestic violence victims don’t leave.  They may be afraid to, not have any money or are afraid of losing their children.  More than likely, they love their abuser and think and hope that this time when he tells them he will change, he will.  They may not know where to go or who to turn to.

We don’t expect you to jump into the middle of an abusive episode.  That would be foolish on your part.  We would like you to become more aware.  If you see or hear something suspicious, we would like you to call the police.  Yes, it might be nothing, but then again someone might be in real danger.  We hope you will support us so we can help the victims become survivors.

This month we have several activities planned for Domestic Violence Awareness.  We would be so pleased to have you join us in one or all of these events.

  • October 2, 2012

8:15 AM Cross Dedication in memory of victims who have lost their lives.                                                                                                                     First Covenant Church, 125 H Street, Iron Mountain, MI

  • October 25, 2012

5-8 PM Celebrity Waiter’s Dinner                                                                                                                                                                                                     An evening of fun for the whole family…prizes, raffles, silent auctions, entertainment                                                                                              $6 per person with children 5 and under admitted free                                                                                                                                                          Location to be announced.  Call 906-774-1337 for more information.

  • October 30, 2012

12 Noon- “Honk Your Horns” to break the silence of domestic violence.                                                                                                                         Bring your car to the Dickinson County Sheriff’s office to participate in a noisy procession to the Caring House.                                                                     Open House to follow at the Caring House with refreshments served.

CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence takes many forms:  physical, mental, emotional, financial, sexual, etc.   One thing all these forms have in common is that they affect not only the abused partner but also the children.  Domestic violence is sometimes called “Family Violence” .  Children who witness acts of violence are at much greater risk of emotional and behavioral problems than other children.  Estimates indicate there are over 4 million children exposed to physical and verbal partner abuse each year in the U.S.  Exposure means seeing or hearing the actual abuse or dealing with the aftermath of the abuse.  It should also be noted that children in these families are also at much greater risk of being abused themselves.

The effects on children in families with domestic violence can be short-term or/and long-term.  It is a traumatic and terrifying experience for children.   Some of the short and long-term effects are listed here.  Children will react in different ways.   Some children are extremely resilient while others show severe signs of stress.

Short Term Effects

  • Nightmares or trouble sleeping
  • Illnesses caused by stress such as headaches, stomach problems, flu and asthma
  • Bed-wetting
  • Aggressive or destructive behavior
  • Cruelty to animals
  • Becoming increasingly anxious or fearful
  • Social withdrawal
  • Blaming themselves for the abuse
  • Poor school performance

Long Term Effects

  • Allowing future victimization of themselves
  • Drug and alcohol dependence 
  • Behaving in abusive ways in adult relationships
  • Depression
  • Obesity
  • Teenage pregnancy
  • Low self-esteem
  • Post traumatic stress disorder

Some ways to help a child victim of domestic abuse are:  reassure the child that the incidents are not their fault, obtain counseling for family victims, show them love, protect them by moving them to a place of safety,  and be a good role model.  

Seeking help to take action against the abuse shows your child that it is not acceptable to treat people in that manner or be treated that way.

Do you need guidance?  Call your local shelter/domestic violence agency.

 

WHAT IS ABUSE?

You know what abuse is, right?  It’s hitting, punching, slapping, biting, beating, pushing, kicking or shaking.

But that’s not allIf your partner calls you awful names, threatens you, humiliates you in public, or continually criticizes you, then that is abuse.  If your partner throws things at you, forces to do anything sexual that you don’t want to, won’t let you get proper medical care, destroys your property or won’t let you seek work, that’s abuse.  If your partner controls you financially, isolates you from people who are important to you, locks you out of or in your house, follows and spies on you, that’s abuse.

All abuse leaves scars, sometimes physical, sometimes mental and sometimes both.  All abuse forces you to live in fear.  

We at Caring House are not here to make you leave your partner.  We are here to give you tools to use in your life to help you make the decisions that are right for you, not for us, and not for your friends.  Our services are free and confidential.  If you just want to talk, we are here.  Give us a call.